Friday, March 2, 2007

Do You Want to Be Sexy?

by Dannah Gresh

Girlfriends, we have to talk! Have you noticed that our society has become so obsessed with sex appeal that just about anything is fair game?
A recent animal rights ad suggests that pasta and vegetables can be “sexy.” (The definition of sexy is “to be sexually suggestive or stimulating; attractive.” If pasta and vegetables are creating that kind of reaction in people, then . . . well, let’s not go there!)

SEXY Hair brand shampoo promises a sexy look. (Does this apply if I happen to use their shampoo on my dog? Incidentally, 29 percent of InStyle magazine readers say dogs are sexy. Somehow, I think I’d feel more comfortable if they thought pasta and vegetables were sexy.)

Doritos sure seem sexy according to their famed Super Bowl commercials featuring a scantily-clad woman catching them between her teeth. (The last time I crunched down a bag, I only got bad breath and orange fingers!)

Please forgive my sarcasm, but if you stick with me for a few minutes, I think you’ll begin to see how silly “sexy” can be! But you can’t just read about it. This is no sleepover slumber party chitchat. No, Brio Sisses, you have to think about “sexy.” It’s time for women of God to analyze the issue with discernment.


What’s the World’s Reaction to All This Sexy Stuff?
Ironically, the world’s response to the most sensual stuff isn’t what you’d think. Take, for instance, all this sexy reality TV. The sexier the shows, the faster they tank.

ABC’s “Are You Hot?” featured scantily clad guys and girls whose bodies and sensuality were dissected on national television. Last March, the official ABC Web site politely announced it wouldn’t be producing another season of the show. Unofficial sites blatantly announced the show was “killed because of low ratings.”

The Real Cancun, MTV’s pioneering effort into reality movies, featured 16 college kids on spring break in Mexico. To say the least, the film was sexy. Press releases said it “flopped at the box office.”

In the midst of the lack of audience response to the most sensual reality programming was the strange skyrocketing success of reality television shows focused on courtship and marriage. Analysts were blown away by the success of “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and “Joe Millionaire.” Even though I find much of the content of these shows crass, they’re a reminder that in our hearts we desire romance and true love over cheap sexual thrills. v Still, many girls today are getting stuck in the rut believing that sexy is the road that leads to romance and love. Again, the world’s data prove otherwise.

The Journal of Advertising published a study of the effects of using overtly sexual content in mainstream consumer advertising. It reports that sexual appeal in ads increases the interest in the product. However, brand recognition was noticeably lower. In other words, if the makers of Kleenex brand tissues decided to use sexy models, they’d probably have more memorable commercials and consumers might even become consumed with tissues (PRODUCT) thinking that they might be sexier, but they’d be less likely to remember that it’s Kleenex (BRAND) tissues they’re supposed to be buying.

It makes me wonder. If you follow the trend of dressing sexy, acting sexy and talking sexy, won’t you also be creating a higher level of interest in the sexual appeal of women in general (PRODUCT) while at the same time making yourself (BRAND) more generic and uninteresting?

For all the hoopla about sexy, the actual response of the world seems to leave us still longing for something we just can’t find in sexy. As one author puts it, “Do people imagine men courted women in the past because they simply found it more fun than casual sex? No, it was because women’s modesty required it!”


What’s God’s Reaction to All This Sexy Stuff?
Don’t be surprised by this, but I believe God created you to be sexy. I just don’t think that the world’s casual use of sexy is the same as God’s definition.

The Bible’s Hebrew word for sex is yada which means, “known, recognized, understood, respected.” The word is used both in reference to a man and wife having sexual intercourse and, along with other usages, in reference to a person being in deep fellowship with God. Because sexy is the adjective form of sex, it can mean that in God’s eyes you’re known intimately, recognized to the core of your being for who are, understood perhaps without even the need to explain and deeply respected. Do you see that reflected in today’s cheap imitation of sexy?

Of course, God includes the physical appeal that the world defines as sexy within His precious Word. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”

That verse acknowledges that we have the power to be captivating. But take a look at how many women captivate the guy in Proverbs.

Did you get it?

One.

The wife of his youth.

When you put the definition of yada together with this verse, it says to me that there are deep secrets about us that only our husband is supposed to know. God did create you to be sexy, but not our world’s cheap compromise of sexy. When you choose to be sexy for only your husband, you live according to God’s purpose, and rather than losing respect, you gain it.


What’s Your Reaction to All This Sexy Stuff?
I’m sad to hear a lot of my sweet Christian sisters throwing the word sexy around as if it’s a cool thing. Some of them say, “It’s OK to be sexy.” Some of them just try to live out the definition of sexy by imitating the culture. Even some of our most fabulous Christian role models are falling for the lie.

Which will you choose — the world’s cheap imitation of sexy, or God’s plan for sexy? I know it’s a difficult choice given today’s casual guy/girl relationships, sexy clothes, sensual movies — and let’s not forget those very sexy Doritos!

But how’s a girl to rise above the sexy banter? First Peter 3:3-4 gives us what I like to call “The Reflection Test.” It reads, ”Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

Those verses are really saying, “Hey, don’t be more concerned with your outside beauty than you are with your internal beauty.” In other words, bag the obsession with sexy. But how? It starts with taking “The Reflection Test” each morning. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Did I spend more time with God grooming my heart and my mind than I did in front of this mirror today?” Only when your heart is filled with the confident humility of God will you be able to resist the pressure and pain of today’s sex-crazed culture.

Oh, and pass the Doritos. That’s sure to dampen down the allure!




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This article appeared in Brio magazine. Copyright © 2003 Dannah Gresh. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

1 comment:

Rae said...

RIGHT ON GURL!!!! THIS ROCKS!!!