Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Update


For the past couple months i was... frankly, spiritually dead. But i'm back on my feet now :) I don't know what to say, when i want to talk about how God has changed my heart in the last little while, i just go speechless, i'm just so overwhelmed in an amazing way. I have watched God change my heart and help it grow bigger over the last month or so.

Right now, I am preparing myself (spiritually) for high school next year. I hope to accomplish setting boundaries for myself when it comes to my conversations with nonchristians and what i do, and where i will go, and mostly importantly, my attitude in it all. I wanna live completely different from how i did when i used to be in public school. I would come home bitter towards my parents, and have little interest in biblical issues. I would also long very much to be accepted by my classmates, so i would act and talk like they did.

Homeschooling made me realize that i hated the person I was trying to be. I guess over the three years of homeschooling i was "finding myself." I have been constantly testing my heart and analyzing my mind and my actions. It has allowed me to be desolate from the outside world for a while and help me focus on what is really important to me. I have finally come to the conclusion, with the help of the Holy Spirit, of who i really am, what i want in life, what i need to accomplish, and the wicked ways of my sinful nature and how i can defeat it.

In my heart, now, i feel a compelling voice saying i'm ready for the world, and that the continous testings of public school will test my strength and faith in Christ and i have confidence that with and IN Christ i will absolutely be able to withstand those testings.

Now i'm totally up for the challenge, and i can't wait! My attitude towards going back to public school literally changed overnight. I spent one entire night wide awake thinking about this and talking to God about it. In that moment He really lifted my spirit, and i'm so thankful. He has widened my love for the unsaved and i feel a deep burning to reach out. .....

...so yeah, that's how i'm doing spiritually. haha anyways, God bless!

Cookie <3


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