Susie's Views on Dating and Courtship

by Susie Shellenberger

Many of you want to know my views on courtship versus dating . . . so here are my thoughts:

I see advantages and disadvantages in courtship and dating . . . therefore I don't really “endorse” either, but rather encourage teens to establish healthy, godly FRIENDSHIPS.


I’m single (never yet married) and have had several godly dating relationships. My parents allowed me to date a guy in our youth group at church when I was 16. But even though we dated a year, we only kissed once and we did things with a group and with each other’s families. That first relationship set the tone for my future dating relationships. I make it a point only to date godly men who hold my same standards and are in my same church denomination.


The Key
So when I look at it . . . I'm GLAD my parents allowed me to date. The key is: I have no regrets. I think that’s the bottom line. Can teens today “date” with no regrets? Can they be satisfied to do things in groups and with each other's families and never go past a kiss — if kiss at all? Can Jesus Christ be LORD of that relationship? If so . . . and if the parents agree . . . I don’t see a problem with dating.


But many teens are not into this mindset. I receive so many e-mails and letters from teen girls who have gone too far with their boyfriend, etc. And that’s why Brio will continue to address the subject of dating. Not necessarily because we endorse it, but because teens need so much help in this area.


What About Courtship?
We have run excerpts from Josh Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye and have talked about courtship as well as dating in Brio. I like SOME of the aspects I read about courtship, but I don't fully accept it.


The way most people define courtship sounds as though it’s impossible for teens to establish and maintain godly dating relationships. I just don’t believe that. I see nothing wrong with two godly teens (with parental permission and who both have the same high godly standards) going out for a pizza and coming back to one of the family’s homes for games or videos. To me, that’s a fun “date” with no regrets. And again . . . that's the key — NO REGRETS.


So, does that answer your question? Brio is totally committed to purity and drawing teen girls into an intimate, growing relationship with Jesus Christ, but we really won’t endorse dating OR courtship . . . but WILL talk about both.


Your Friend,
Susie Shellenberger, Brio Editor

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