Advice on…
Dating and How to Get Over a Break-up.
The main thing to do is NOT live in the past, yet at the same time; DON’T live like you never had a past. Learn and remember the good things from your past but don’t compare them to the present or future. If this was your first love, it will probably always be hard to forget them. There’s no way of changing the past, so don’t punish yourself for what happened by wishing everything went smoothly. Learn from every experience so you know what to do in the future.
After a break-up, it’s very easy for someone to immediately run into someone else’s arms, but really, all they’re doing is covering the pain inside from the last one. You can cover a peanut w/ chocolate but its still there. You have to eat it if you want it to go away. That’s what you have to do with the relationship. You cannot just move on and pretend like nothing happened… that is not the proper way to heal. You have to pull it apart, go through the emotions and most importantly, forgive your ex and forgive yourself.
Right after a break-up it’s normal to go through a whole series of feelings for this person, one most obviously being anger. Know that it takes two, and both of you are responsible for what happened. You have every right to be angry, but you have no right to take it out on your ex- keep your anger to yourself and don’t let anyone be hurt.
Once your pillow has soaked up all your tears, spend some time doing something that doesn’t require you to be alone. God see a movie with some friends or have a slumber party… anything that will help you get your mind off your ex.
Life is a journey… well; really… it’s more like an ice cream sundae. And your love life is the cherry on top. We can eat the sundae without the cherry fine, but it tastes a whole lot better with the cherry… especially when it’s saved till last. In other words- You can date a long time without finding the right “taste,” but the most important thing is saving the cherry till last so you don’t end up with melted drops of ice cream in the bottom of the dish- with no happy ending. Save your heart (cherry) for the only first and last time you can give it away. Share with that special person the amazing joy of saving something for them your whole life, and the incredible feeling of spending one moment that you can never take back and only give away once in your lifetime… ultimately, your virginity along w/ unconditional love pouring out of your heart & soul.
If you eat the ice cream slowly, it’ll melt before your eyes. If you eat it fast you won’t have any time to enjoy it and really taste it. If you want your pace to be just right, let God take control, because His timing is always perfect. Know that even if the break-up was bad, if God wanted you two to be together, He WILL bring you two back together someday, in HIS timing.
My best advice for any God-fearing adolescent would be to never date unless you think this person could be a potential spouse in the future. And NEVER date unless you’re ready to give your heart away. It’s always a good idea to be friends first, and then if they treat you right, you could consider being more than friends.
When you are dating, always set boundaries, and keep them! It’s always easy to give into temptation, but it’s easier to resist temptation when both you and your bf have limits. Never go into a relationship thinking it will be perfect, because not even marriage is completely filled with love all the time.
Even though it sounds nice, being friends right after a break-up is not a good idea. You both need time for yourself, and being in each other’s lives right away, might only make things worse. If you were rude or unkind in the process, say you’re sorry and everything but don’t talk to them AT ALL quite a while after that. Then, if you two have moved on and have forgiven each other, it is a good idea to become friends. Don’t say anything to that person until you’re completely forgiving of them, otherwise you might say things you’ll regret. If you have something to say to them, save it, think about it, and ask yourself if it’s really necessary. Consider yourself lucky if you stay friends for a while, because you got to know them on both a romantic and friendly level, and hopefully, brothers and sisters in Christ.
Boys will come and go but God stays with you forever; He will always love you and always be there for you. Give your heart to the one person in the world who cares SO much for you and who is faithful and kind at all times.
During a break-up, make sure you know the one true reason why it didn’t work out. Most of the time, a couple months later, you’ll wonder if that reason was even reasonable! Sometimes the reason is obvious, such as cheating or you just didn’t get along.
They say love is blinding, and “they” are absolutely right. When you’re in love, you tend to see all the great and wonderful qualities of your partner and never really pay attention to the not-so-great qualities. We are so wrapped up in our feelings, we think that love conquers all, and by all, I mean sin… which it doesn’t. Our feelings for a person cannot disguise someone else’s flaws. As we grow in our relationship, we gradually become more aware of our partner’s sins… that eventually leads to questioning ourselves…who is this person?-why do I love them?- and what makes us a perfect couple? There is such a thin line between love and hate. One minute we can adore someone, then something goes wrong, and the next minute we can hate their guts. Don’t be that kind of person. True love loves at all times, even when the other side hates us.
Staying in God’s Word will help you keep so focused in everything you do, it will help you keep a clean conscience and it will keep the blind-fold of sin removed. While you two were going out your partner was an angel, but when you broke up they were a jerk? It doesn’t make sense. They were either one or the other all along. If your family and friends didn’t fully support you in the relationship, they’re not going to fully support you in the break-up either. It’s between you and him, not anyone else.
Here’s a basic outline of what I just said…..
1. Cry and know its ok to get mad, but only in secret.
2. Go out and do something fun; spend time with your friends- a lot! Treat yourself; go get a new hairstyle or try something you haven’t done before.
3. Admit to your own mistakes, forgive your ex, and forgive yourself.
4. Think about what you learned from that experience and use it to tackle future obstacles. List ways of how you’ve become a better, stronger person.
5. Take it like a man! Know that it’s not the end of the world, and this is only a little bump in the road.
6. Reach for something higher, ultimately God. Set future goals for yourself.
7. If possible, after a couple months, see if you can’t be friends again. But any time before that EX-Communicate yourself from him.
8. Look at the experience as a new open door for more opportunities. (When you’re dating, there are expectations that you wouldn’t have if u were single.)
9. Always be kind.
10. Trust God! His timing is always perfect. Stay in the Word and know that even if the reason for breaking up was unreasonable, what’s done is done. Rejoice in the fact that this is all a part of God’s amazing plan for your life, and all of these hardships are tests to make you a better person in Him.
Dating and How to Get Over a Break-up.
The main thing to do is NOT live in the past, yet at the same time; DON’T live like you never had a past. Learn and remember the good things from your past but don’t compare them to the present or future. If this was your first love, it will probably always be hard to forget them. There’s no way of changing the past, so don’t punish yourself for what happened by wishing everything went smoothly. Learn from every experience so you know what to do in the future.
After a break-up, it’s very easy for someone to immediately run into someone else’s arms, but really, all they’re doing is covering the pain inside from the last one. You can cover a peanut w/ chocolate but its still there. You have to eat it if you want it to go away. That’s what you have to do with the relationship. You cannot just move on and pretend like nothing happened… that is not the proper way to heal. You have to pull it apart, go through the emotions and most importantly, forgive your ex and forgive yourself.
Right after a break-up it’s normal to go through a whole series of feelings for this person, one most obviously being anger. Know that it takes two, and both of you are responsible for what happened. You have every right to be angry, but you have no right to take it out on your ex- keep your anger to yourself and don’t let anyone be hurt.
Once your pillow has soaked up all your tears, spend some time doing something that doesn’t require you to be alone. God see a movie with some friends or have a slumber party… anything that will help you get your mind off your ex.
Life is a journey… well; really… it’s more like an ice cream sundae. And your love life is the cherry on top. We can eat the sundae without the cherry fine, but it tastes a whole lot better with the cherry… especially when it’s saved till last. In other words- You can date a long time without finding the right “taste,” but the most important thing is saving the cherry till last so you don’t end up with melted drops of ice cream in the bottom of the dish- with no happy ending. Save your heart (cherry) for the only first and last time you can give it away. Share with that special person the amazing joy of saving something for them your whole life, and the incredible feeling of spending one moment that you can never take back and only give away once in your lifetime… ultimately, your virginity along w/ unconditional love pouring out of your heart & soul.
If you eat the ice cream slowly, it’ll melt before your eyes. If you eat it fast you won’t have any time to enjoy it and really taste it. If you want your pace to be just right, let God take control, because His timing is always perfect. Know that even if the break-up was bad, if God wanted you two to be together, He WILL bring you two back together someday, in HIS timing.
My best advice for any God-fearing adolescent would be to never date unless you think this person could be a potential spouse in the future. And NEVER date unless you’re ready to give your heart away. It’s always a good idea to be friends first, and then if they treat you right, you could consider being more than friends.
When you are dating, always set boundaries, and keep them! It’s always easy to give into temptation, but it’s easier to resist temptation when both you and your bf have limits. Never go into a relationship thinking it will be perfect, because not even marriage is completely filled with love all the time.
Even though it sounds nice, being friends right after a break-up is not a good idea. You both need time for yourself, and being in each other’s lives right away, might only make things worse. If you were rude or unkind in the process, say you’re sorry and everything but don’t talk to them AT ALL quite a while after that. Then, if you two have moved on and have forgiven each other, it is a good idea to become friends. Don’t say anything to that person until you’re completely forgiving of them, otherwise you might say things you’ll regret. If you have something to say to them, save it, think about it, and ask yourself if it’s really necessary. Consider yourself lucky if you stay friends for a while, because you got to know them on both a romantic and friendly level, and hopefully, brothers and sisters in Christ.
Boys will come and go but God stays with you forever; He will always love you and always be there for you. Give your heart to the one person in the world who cares SO much for you and who is faithful and kind at all times.
During a break-up, make sure you know the one true reason why it didn’t work out. Most of the time, a couple months later, you’ll wonder if that reason was even reasonable! Sometimes the reason is obvious, such as cheating or you just didn’t get along.
They say love is blinding, and “they” are absolutely right. When you’re in love, you tend to see all the great and wonderful qualities of your partner and never really pay attention to the not-so-great qualities. We are so wrapped up in our feelings, we think that love conquers all, and by all, I mean sin… which it doesn’t. Our feelings for a person cannot disguise someone else’s flaws. As we grow in our relationship, we gradually become more aware of our partner’s sins… that eventually leads to questioning ourselves…who is this person?-why do I love them?- and what makes us a perfect couple? There is such a thin line between love and hate. One minute we can adore someone, then something goes wrong, and the next minute we can hate their guts. Don’t be that kind of person. True love loves at all times, even when the other side hates us.
Staying in God’s Word will help you keep so focused in everything you do, it will help you keep a clean conscience and it will keep the blind-fold of sin removed. While you two were going out your partner was an angel, but when you broke up they were a jerk? It doesn’t make sense. They were either one or the other all along. If your family and friends didn’t fully support you in the relationship, they’re not going to fully support you in the break-up either. It’s between you and him, not anyone else.
Here’s a basic outline of what I just said…..
1. Cry and know its ok to get mad, but only in secret.
2. Go out and do something fun; spend time with your friends- a lot! Treat yourself; go get a new hairstyle or try something you haven’t done before.
3. Admit to your own mistakes, forgive your ex, and forgive yourself.
4. Think about what you learned from that experience and use it to tackle future obstacles. List ways of how you’ve become a better, stronger person.
5. Take it like a man! Know that it’s not the end of the world, and this is only a little bump in the road.
6. Reach for something higher, ultimately God. Set future goals for yourself.
7. If possible, after a couple months, see if you can’t be friends again. But any time before that EX-Communicate yourself from him.
8. Look at the experience as a new open door for more opportunities. (When you’re dating, there are expectations that you wouldn’t have if u were single.)
9. Always be kind.
10. Trust God! His timing is always perfect. Stay in the Word and know that even if the reason for breaking up was unreasonable, what’s done is done. Rejoice in the fact that this is all a part of God’s amazing plan for your life, and all of these hardships are tests to make you a better person in Him.
In Christ,
Courtney
