10/27/07... I Grew Up this Week

To the many who know me probably know or have heard about Timmy Quinney. We all lost an extraordinary man two weeks ago today. I don't know where to begin, there's so many things to say about this *miracle* =]

First of all, i thank my Father in heaven for giving me the incredible strength to stand through this rain. Without Him, i am nothing. I would be going absolutely insane if i did not have the joy of the Lord in me.

Second, i want to thank Timmy's family for showing me and many others that how strong someone can be even when you lose your own child. Seeing you carry on has helped me get through this in a great way.

Third, i want to send out a huge thanks to all my friends who have been so comforting and with your prayers and kind words, I have found early on in these weeks that this is not an entirely sad experience, I'm so happy Timmy was such an angel and such a blessing to everyone he knew and i'm discovering more and more how much he did for people, so unselfishly. You guys in the youth group, thank you so much for your hugs and support that night. I'm so thankful that we're all taking this so well. Without you, i would have probbly shut the world out, been so depressed and weak.

I've found the meaning of true sacrificial love in frienship. Timmy Quinney, Sonny Benson & Lougan Dumont went to the face of death and helped each other to the end. God was with them till the end. He willed and planned this to happen for his glory. He used Timmy's life as an instrument for Sonny's salvation, and possibly other's. "When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small."

Sonny's recovery has given me the hope i would have never even dreamed of. God was so gracious in sparing him for this while. I'm so blown away by the emotional strength he has, i was so worried he would be broken by the loss of his best friend. "Best friend" does not do them justice for the kind of frienship they had, i don't if you can get any closer than they were. <3

.A Blind World.

Romans 7:18-19

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."

This passage was read in my Student Ministries class this morning and it really came out at me. It is so true, so sobering. I'm constantly thinking and doing things i so despise.. and yet i do them anyway. This week i caught myself thinking some sinful things and i had no idea why i was thinking them.. they just came.. and i was like "What??? How did i ever get thinking that??" i just said, "Get away! now! i don't want you anymore!" It immediately vanished but it still so surprised me how fast it came with little effort.

This proves how we are so sinful, through and through. And we as christians are so aware of this sinful desire that we commit daily... but i was thinking today... what about the world? What do they know about sin? It doesn't affect them.. and they're rarely guilty.. how can they know the devastating effects of sin and it's wicked ways?... they worship sin. The world is unaware of what is good. Of course they faintly see the effects of sin daily, but just think of it as mishaps. The wars and deaths and tragedies and disasters effect them so, but they only see it as misfortune.

The world is SO unaware of the good things God wants to see in us... and don't even know that they are GOOD, desirable, admirable things. For example, pride is the one thing that the world absolutely loves and inhabits... and at the same time, its the very thing God hates. Luke 4:11- "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." It sadens me so, to think how blind the world is to the most amazing things in life. Anyways, just wanted to jot down those few things for today. Have a good one y'all. God bless you this week :)

In Christ,

Courtney ♥

Hard Work?

Excerpt from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey.......

"I was listening to a speech on tape when the speaker began comparing the challenges faced by today's teens to those of teens who lived 150 years ago. I listened with interest. I agreed wth most of what he said until this: "The challenge that teens faced 150 years ago was hard work. The challenge that teens face today is a lack of hard work. "

Ex-squeeze me! I mumbled to myself. A lack of hard work? What are you smokin'? I think teens are busier today and working harder than ever. I see it with my own eyes every day. Between school, extracurricular activites, teams, clubs, student government, athletics, partime jobs, helping to raise a younger brother or sister, and on and on, there's barely time to breathe. A lack of hard work? Ha! Milking cows and mending fences doesn't sound any more difficult than juggling the multifaceted life of a modern teen. "

__________________________________

Courtney's comments:

Hard work... its what we all have to do in order to be successful. If you avoid it, you're gonna fail. The question is, are you enjoying your work?

mentality - (a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations)

Whats your mentality towards what your parents ask you to do.. the favors friends ask of you... your school work?

Your mentality will make the huge difference in your life of work. Just think... you have 10 months of school.... 5 days a week.... what are you going to do with that time? The only way to overcome it, is to enjoy it and have the will to succeed.... all which comes from a desire to respect the authority that God has placed above you to teach & correct you... to prepare you for life... and most importantly, the ultimate desire to gloirfy God in all that you do. So as a christian, you would naturally be a person of character and dignity towards the work, hard work.. God has placed in your life.

Anyways, i was just reading that book and liked that little article... and wanted to expand on it with a christian point of view.

Have a great day =]

In Christ,

Courtney <3

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Intro:

First of all... to the few people that read this blog... i'm so sorry i have not been keeping ontop of this.. i've been lazy... and busy... and just whatever the past couple months, but now that everything is back to the normal school routine, everything is a lot more smoother... and absolutely wonderful.

This summer my soul was kind of down in the pits.. i wasn't excited and enthusiastic about spiritual things (due to some sin in my life). I did want to get back up on my feet, but not completely... and my whole heart wasn't there. As September was quickly approaching i was scared that i wouldn't have the spiritual strength I needed to start school in the fall. I was scared i lost the mindset and energy i had earlier in the summer towards going into the public school system as a christian. About a week and a half before school started i started praying my little slefish heart out that God would radically change my attitude and that i would regain the relationship i had with Him.

I had no idea about it, but God was changing my heart while i was praying, and through the encouragement of my amazing, faithful christian friends I once again found the love of Christ lavished on me. I'd like to say i'm back to normal again now, in every way... and even better.

When people ask me how my first week of school went i say "Great!" It really is such a blessing and i had no idea what i was missing when i was homeschooling... though, this couldn't be a more perfect time to go back to school.

I'm more mature, and i can handle a lot more of everything (than i would have in gr. 7).. and my attitude.. well, i don't even know where to begin. I don't know how to say this without sounding selfish, but i'm the luckiest person in the world cuz i'm going to that school. It's not the school.. its not the teachers or education, and its not even the friends that's there.. its the attitude and enthusiasm God daily places in my heart with more and more love as He gives it.

I find it so incredibly amazing how i can minute-ly (if thats a word), openly present Jesus Christ in my words and actions- in front of hundreds of kids! How cool is that?? You say, "but Courtney, not everything's always going to be sunny and joyful." - that is so not true! Haha.. If i can be joyful in the happy times... what gives me the excuse to be unhappy in unfortunate times? What excuse do i have when i'm staring sin in the face? You and i both know very well of the consequences if i walk down a road of sin ... Why go there? And why even think about making a decision.. just say no! Never think for one moment that you don't have the ability to have victory over sin... no matter how strong the impulse is to do what everyone else is doing.

If your heart is not with Christ's you may find it harder... and you may even find yourself living two lives. With Christ... life is always on the sunny side of the street, even if you are going through the hardest times.. its remarkable how God can continually give you a glowing heart full of peace & joy. I OFTEN find myself humbled at how great our God is... that He is able to keep me calm when someone is putting me down and keep my mouth from retaliating or thinking sinful thoughts.

Looking Through My Eyes:

My approach to the public school system as a believer in Jesus Christ...

1. Make sure my heart is where it needs to be in order to be a sucessful Christian in a body of unbelievers.

2. Daily honor my father and mother, and most importantly, God. (Don't be the teenager the world creates).

3. Be emotionally seperate from the student body. Do not think like the world, do not act like the world, do not look like the world. Despise the pride of life, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes.

4. Honor your teachers! I know this is kinda cheesy... but always smile =]. Shine for Jesus. Do your best... do all your homework, take responsibility and care. I find this one very important, cuz in class... kids can be little jitter boxes...... speak only when spoken to. If you know the teacher or person in higher authority would not appreciate it, don't bother doing it.

5. Be punctual, be consistant, and don't be afraid to proclaim His name. With every appropriate opportunity i get, i try to somehow fit a part of the gospel into my schoolwork. It makes it so much more exciting that way because i'm writing about something i'm passionate for.

6. Be calm and mysterious (l0l). Don't get anxious about anything. [Philippians 4:6- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."]

7. Constantly be talking with God. Thank Him, praise Him, and ask Him to help you whenever u need it. He's not gonna bite you and he's not gonna run away if you ask him a big favor.

8. Analyze the wordly lifestyle and compare it to scripture. Do not buy into anything anybody says before coming to your Father first.

9. When you see someone who's hurting or in need. Talk to them. Look through eyes of love, not contempt. Be gentle... and even quote the appropriate scripture... and pray for that person. Your own personal testimony is a great tool to lead someone to Christ.

10. The 10 Commandments. Live them out.. show yours peers that your priorities and wants are different than theirs. Materialism is not your thing.

11. This one is very important to me.. treat everyone equally. Do not show favor or hate to anyone and never speak badly about someone. Keep your promises, be faithful, and maintain a Godly reputation. Strive for purity in everything.

12. Make every situation an opportunity, whether its good or bad. How you handle it will show your character. Resist temptation. Let that situation be an opportunity to shine for Jesus. Live like Jesus did.

13. Everything is beautiful! That statement speaks for itself. Like Starfield so perfectly said it...

"Everything is beautiful, Even when the tears are falling, I don't need a miracle to believe, Even in the crashing down, I can hear redemtion calling, and everything is beautiful to me."

14. Join The Rebelution.... a teenage rebellion against low expectations. I found this article this week i love "how they do.".... http://www.therebelution.com/about/rebelution.htm

1 Timothy 4:12...

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

So, that's my update for this fall. I'm so glad i could finally just sit and write with no limits. Praise God for giving me the words. Me is happy =D God bless. Please pray for me and my walk with God, as well as my witness in the school. Thanks!

In Christ,

Courtney <3

This is my devotion:

If he is not speaking and if he is not listening, with every moment let his soul burst out in worship for our glorious Father in heaven above.

CookieMac

Matthew 5:16

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Home- Chris Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

plea

Please don't be rude to me about this, it just makes it even harder.

I wish things were different, but this is now, i can't change anything i've done, all i can do is say sorry, be repentful and be hopeful. Just choose to live with what life brings you and make the best of it, not gettin angry or doubtful.

Settling for good enough never got anyone anywhere and i find it hard to find happiness in that. The littlest of changes we make in our lives makes a big difference, and it all starts with our attitude in it all.

Jason could probbly say this better than me but..

You're not here for no darn reason.

"You might feel you could never be good enough for God, but Jesus didn't die for good people; He died for sinners like you and me. He will receive you as you are, remove your guilt and change for life if you will call out to Him."- Jill Goulet

I hope you understand how big of deal it is for me to disobey my parents.... but i'm SO thankful for it. I WANT to be guilty everytime i do something wrong. And its not just my attitude, its that secret Light in me. Its not me alone who wants to speak words of joy and peace to you. I want people to see it in my eyes that there's an extraordinary Spirit in me.

A Hermit?

Yeah...i'm alive unfortunately. I think i'm alright. For the past week i've been emotionally numb... on purpose... I've been trying to escape this pain that is bound for me and this is the way i'm choosing to deal with it. I can't be happy, and i can't cry. I'm basically just breathing, talking, walking and sleeping. I guess, in my crazy head, i'm avoiding being a predictable person and people getting to know me, cuz, never will they know me or know my reasons, sometimes i don't even know my reasons, and i'm happy with not knowing everything... the point is i'm frustrated with the reputation people expect of me and i don't want to live up to what they perceive of me. So i will conclude to this: Love is absolutely and totally sucking the breath out of me and the funny thing is that i've enjoyed it, until, that is, i've finally run out of breath and i'm left for nothing...people don't believe me when i say this love is true and its killing me. I figured if i feel nothing at all they wouldn't have to believe me or not.

My Sunshine

You are my sunshine.
You bright my day
With new rays of hope.
You keep me warm
When i need it most.
Even when you seem less obvious
And the darkness is creeping in
Still you are with me
Holding my hand.
The rains may come
And the rains may go
But right now right here
Your love still shows,
You're with me
Every step of the way.
So when i go astray
You'll lead me back with care.
You love me and i love you.
You're my sunshine, my teddy bear,
And if u leave me
So help me God,
I'll fetch the knife.
Because it's with you only
I want to live my life.