I Run to You

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you
I run to you baby
And when it all starts coming undone
Baby you’re the only one I run to
I run to you

The tangling ties of secular music....

I know that listening to secular music, on a christian's point of view, is sometimes nice and refreshing, there are a lot of good lyrics out there. But i know firsthand that those lyrics can be the very things that turn the tables in my thought life. It's definitely not wrong to absorb one's self in that music, but it's just so hard to see my friends and family take interest in something that so easily entangles :) I love you, and i don't want you to be strayed away :)Think about the music you listen to and what effects it has on your day-to-day life.

Courtney

My Faith is Built On Nothing Less...

...Than the very eternal, powerful and authoritative sovereignty of God.

If I did not believe that my God was absolutely, completely, totally powerful and sovereign over all things, I would not have the faith I do today. Everything that has happened or will ever happen, is planned according to his will...everything that has happened or will happen He has sovereignly allowed. Every crumb that falls, every cloud that moves, every tree that sways, every flower that wilts, every soldier that dies, every wave that rolls, every hair on your head, every ant that is squashed, every note that is played, every grain of sand that is moved, every cell in your body, etc. God would not be God and would not be called God if he didn't constantly know and control every single detail of humanity, creation and everything that exists. Man has responsibility and the freedom to makes choices, but God is still sovereign and all-powerful over every decision, and it IS His will. If something wasn't God's will, it would never happen in the first place. That is not to say that when we sin, it is God's good will. He is in control, but we are absolutely 100% responsible for our actions.

"Or does not the potter have a right

over the clay, to make from the same

lump one vessel for honorable use and

another for common use?"

Romans 9:21

Psalm 42:1

¹ "As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God."

I wish i could say this for myself some days. I want to need God like i need food and water. I want to need him like when it's the middle of the day and without a thought my body tells me that it's hungry or thirsty. I want to need God like the air i breathe... like when i gasp after being underwater. I want it to be my instinct that i NEED God.
I want to escape the train of thought that says I'll have God when i want Him..like having dessert. I want to need Him as nutritious living food that will keep me going for as long as i live!

Resolved Follow-Up

Even my head tries to deny that I've been changed. I didn't want to believe that a conference could change me. And the truth is, God changed me. I wanted to be strong. But Oh Most High, he wrenches and pulls with the strongest of force that not even my wicked sin could stand up to. There's something new inside of me, but not of me, like a voice constantly calling me back to the cross. Everyday i never cease to be reminded of my sin, and then blessed by His grace when i repent and therefore have no more condemnation. I finally believe that to be forgiven and loved isn't just a one-time deal when one accepts Christ- its a daily, actually-hourly (if thats a word), minute-by-minute THING- because i don't know what to call it.... how can you put a name to God's Amazing Grace.

If you were listening to C.J.'s last message- i can tell you now, that message was definitely made for me. I really need to learn to talk to myself, and stop listening to myself, for the past..well at least 2/3 years i've been listening to myself and trying to guide myself through a "relationship" with Jesus Christ- and now i know that that never works... It wasn't even a relationship... I gave God attention when i wanted to, when i felt like it... not realizing that He must be the center. I was truly spiritually dead... lost, it was that winter season in my life that C.J. was talking about. He really described every detail of my life for the past couple years.

Just a side note, i've started blogging again because i've come to the sure & true realization that, when i write, i become more honest with myself, it's a way of not always bottling up whats in my heart, without being so abrupt about it. Blogging helps me to assess my own heart, and all the while, maybe help somebody else who may be going through a similar situation.

I finally feel that spark that i've always wanted. A real hunger for his word, even though i still find it incredibly difficult to read my bible every day. Even when i don't read my bible, i'm still reminded that i should, whereas in the past, it never even crossed my mind.

Anyway,
I'm gonna try and not burden myself with long blog entries. Just short ones, to let you know whats on my mind.

Psalm 42

Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

To the choirmaster. A Maskil^a]">[a] of^A)">(A) the Sons of Korah.

^"1^B)">(B) As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
²^C)">(C) My soul thirsts for God,
for^D)">(D) the living God.
When shall I come and^E)">(E) appear before God?^b]">[b] ³^F)">(F) My tears have been my food
day and night,
^G)">(G) while they say to me all the day long,
"Where is your God?"
⁴These things I remember,
as I^H)">(H) pour out my soul:
^I)">(I) how I would go^J)">(J) with the throng
and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
^K)">(K) a multitude keeping festival.

⁵^L)">(L) Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you^M)">(M) in turmoil within me?
^N)">(N) Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation^c]">[c] ⁶and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I^O)">(O) remember you
^P)">(P) from the land of Jordan and of^Q)">(Q) Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
⁷Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
^R)">(R) all your breakers and your^S)">(S) waves
have gone over me.
⁸By day the LORD^T)">(T) commands his steadfast love,
and at^U)">(U) night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
⁹I say to God,^V)">(V) my rock:
"Why have you forgotten me?
^W)">(W) Why do I go mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?"
¹⁰As with a deadly wound in my bones,
my adversaries taunt me,
^X)">(X) while they say to me all the day long,
"Where is your God?"

¹¹^Y)">(Y) Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God."

Courtney